«People often ask whether an older man is more mature than a younger one,» Sherman adds. «It depends upon the individual and their development and history. That said, extra years of life experience do often lead to greater maturity in relationships, and more life wisdom.» I’m Lachlan Brown, https://thedatingpros.com/ the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets.
YOU’RE MAKING IN DATING
I am an inherently monogamous person, but several women had casual sexual relations with prior lovers while showing serious interest in me. One lady asked me to work on her computer and while there, discovered her midnight escapades, sometimes after I dropped her off from an evening.date. “Because you are probably going to be alone if you find yourself alone at 50”. That makes us all feel so much better. When they’re done playing around they will coming looking for decent, honest , caring , attractive 50 + yr old women.
Butch, please be assured that all women are not like your wife. I would be happy with a hard working, loyal, dedicated man like yourself. I am not materialistic and don’t care about heaps and heaps of money, renting planes, and all that. A lot of men with that kind of money are pompous and into themselves.
It Was Never About The Woman
Feeling good about yourself is really the most important thing, because you are probably going to be alone if you find yourself alone at 50. The stats are frightening – 12% of single women find sexual partners – it goes down to 4% at 60. We can all be positive and optimistic , but psychologists suggest practicing alternative forms of sexuality and some openly advocate partner sharing.
Having established that many men prefer older women, how do these relationships develop? Resisting the “cougar” stereotype of older women wearing leopard print, drinking martinis, and ogling younger men, many women share their real stories of how younger men focused on and pursued them. When the age gap was less severe, however, so was the judgment. Cowan found that both adult and adolescent males, in contrast to females, did not hold a double standard when judging couples with only a 7-year age difference. More younger men date and marry older women than we realize.
My youngest is still at university and has chosen to take a marathon runner’s approach to completing what will be 8 years of study to culminate in his PhD. So I feel free of any responsibilities of children even though I know that I have some “power freeloaders” still living at home with me. Best things about being 50… I have less patience for wasting time in misery! Dealing with dating in my 50s feels like another huge challenge, but there are YOUNGER MEN too Jajajaja. But I am still holding out for the right situation for me, probably similar age or older.
Meanwhile, as women get older, given they believe younger men are irrationally “eww”, their choice gets smaller and smaller. Yes, men are immature, but only because women let us be immature. Being a goofball is the path of least resistance. Since we were wee lads, girls have always discriminated against younger boys in school. As much of our generation is delaying activities like marriage and procreating, we are, in effect, also prolonging its adolescence.
For most of us, a GF after age 50 is just NOT in the cards. I’ve reproduced, I’ve done my duty to the propagation of the human species. Sure, it would be nice to have someone to wake up next to, and have sex with, and feel intimate with. But the vast female single age appropriate population isn’t interested in that with someone like me. My late father once told me that if a man reaches age 65 and can count 5 GOOD friends, he will have done well. Not mere acquaintances, but good friends who are there for you in time of need and vice-versa.
Does the rule work for women?
I can only hope to find a nice partner the old fashioned way, but so far it hasn’t been easy. MDs are very clear that women after menopause change a lot include no longer having the desire – it is disheartening but is the big reason why us 50 something men are forced to go younger. If you’ve read any of my posts you will know that at age 50 I don’t share the views and actions of these women you’ve described.
I got divorced over 20 years ago and after many attempts at dating feel that at 52 I just can’t be bothered anymore. I have much better things to do with my time than waste it with little chance of success. I’m separated now after 27 years, me mid 50s her late 40s. I didn’t cheat and neither did she.